kennysboat:

you’re not a true gamer until you shove an entire ps4 up your ass

(via strocka)

beyoncebeytwice:

i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about

(via circumcising)

demoncest:

i really hate this ‘ur other half is out there somewhere u just gotta meet them’ like fuck off im not incomplete im a whole person and i dont need anyone to ‘complete me’ the only thing i need is a pizza and not ur shit bye

(via one-imperfect-person)

grantaire:

grantaire:

have you seen this dog

image

look at him

daily reminder to look at this dog. look at him

(via fuckingcabello)

naturallywholocked:

if a girl asks you for a tampon, I dont care how much you hate that bitch if you have one you hand it over no one deserves that level of hell

(via lovatic4life15)

captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

(Source: faithlehaane, via downcastdelusion)

lizawithazed:

sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via thenightbathroomblogger)